Why the choice of executor matters

Picking an executor is one of the most consequential decisions in an estate plan. The executor—not the will itself—often controls how quickly the estate settles, whether creditors and taxes are addressed correctly, and how family disagreements are managed. In my practice I’ve seen competent executors close estates in months rather than years and reduce fees, missed deadlines, and tax mistakes that otherwise would have diminished inheritances.

Key traits to prioritize when evaluating candidates

  • Trust and integrity: The executor will access financial accounts, real estate titles, and sensitive personal information. Choose someone with a track record of honesty and stable judgment.
  • Organization and follow-through: Probate and estate administration involve deadlines, filings, inventories, and recordkeeping. Look for people who manage projects and paperwork reliably.
  • Financial literacy: Executors don’t need to be accountants, but familiarity with basic taxes, investment accounts, and valuation issues reduces risk and cost.
  • Communication and diplomacy: Family friction is common. An executor who explains steps clearly and remains calm lowers the chance of litigation.
  • Availability and longevity: The person should be able and willing to serve for months or longer. Consider age, health, job flexibility, and geographic proximity to important property.
  • Willingness to learn and seek help: Good executors know when to hire professionals (attorneys, CPAs, real estate agents) and how to manage those vendors.

Who can serve — eligibility and common legal limits

Most U.S. states allow any competent adult to serve as executor, but there are common restrictions:

  • Age and capacity: Executors typically must be 18 (sometimes 21) and mentally competent.
  • Criminal history and conflicts: Several states restrict or raise hurdles for felons. Courts may reject appointees with serious conflicts of interest.
  • Residency: Some states require a local co-executor or a resident agent if the chosen executor lives out of state.
    When in doubt, confirm state rules with an estate attorney or the probate court clerk for the decedent’s county. The CFPB provides a practical overview of steps after a death (https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/when-someone-dies/).

Family member vs. professional fiduciary — pros and cons

  • Family members: Pros — lower cost, personal knowledge of family and wishes, greater perceived trust. Cons — emotional strain, potential for poor recordkeeping or bias.
  • Professional executors (attorneys, CPA firms, trust companies): Pros — experience with probate, impartiality, institutional support. Cons — fees (often statutory or hourly), and potential loss of personal touch.
    Many estates benefit from a hybrid approach: appoint a trusted family member as primary executor and name a professional as successor or co-executor to provide technical support.

How compensation is handled

Executor compensation rules vary by state: some prescribe statutory percentages, others allow “reasonable” fees determined by courts. Typical statutory frameworks set percentages of estate value for services, but many parties agree to different arrangements. For detail on compensation pitfalls and negotiation, see our guide on Choosing an Executor: Duties, Compensation, and Pitfalls.

Practical due-diligence checklist before you name someone

  1. Ask candidly. Tell the person what duties are expected and ensure willingness to serve. A nominated executor can decline later, so secure a clear yes up front.
  2. Confirm practical availability. Will they be available for a multi-month process? Are they willing to travel or meet with professionals?
  3. Review conflicts. Make sure appointments won’t create unavoidable conflicts of interest (major creditor/beneficiary relationships).
  4. Discuss compensation. Be transparent about fees or whether you expect them to serve unpaid.
  5. Verify skills. Confirm familiarity with financial accounts, tax basics, and recordkeeping or that they’ll retain professionals.
  6. Identify alternates. Name one or two backups and consider a professional successor for complex estates.
  7. Document logistics. Create a secure document locator (see our article on Document Locator Strategies: Ensuring Executors Find Everything).

How to formalize the executor appointment

  • Put the appointment in your will, with alternates named clearly.
  • Include limited letters of instruction that outline practical steps, account locations, and digital access preferences—these are not legal substitutes for a will but help executors act quickly.
  • If your executor lives out of state, add a local co-executor or name a resident agent to avoid administrative hurdles.

Common administration tasks the executor will perform

  • Filing the will with the probate court and starting probate procedures.
  • Collecting and valuing assets, securing property, and preparing inventories.
  • Notifying beneficiaries, creditors, and government agencies (Social Security, Medicare) and handling final tax filings (final IRS return and any estate income or estate tax filings) — see IRS guidance at https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/estate-and-gift-taxes.
  • Paying valid debts, funeral expenses, administrative costs, and taxes.
  • Distributing remaining assets according to the will and closing the estate.

Special situations to consider

  • Complex assets: Real estate in multiple states, family businesses, retirement accounts, and crypto require executors with experience or access to specialists. If you own a business, see our Estate Planning Checklist for Business Owners.
  • Digital assets: Provide clear instructions and password access strategies; consider designating a digital executor or using a password vault. Our article on digital account succession covers practical steps: Digital Account Succession: Practical Steps for Executors.
  • Multistate property: Real estate located in other states can trigger ancillary probate. A local attorney or co-executor can simplify that process.
  • Blended families: Consider whether certain beneficiaries might challenge distributions and whether a neutral professional executor could reduce litigation risk.

Red flags that suggest you should not name someone

  • A history of financial mismanagement or fraud.
  • Current substance abuse or severe instability.
  • High likelihood of conflicts that will produce litigation (e.g., a beneficiary with a history of lawsuits against family members).
  • Unwillingness to work with professionals or follow legal advice.

How to prepare your chosen executor (practical steps you can take now)

  • Meet with them to explain your documents, where to find records, and your wishes.
  • Create a document locator and keep an up-to-date list of accounts, passwords, insurance policies, deeds, and a list of professional advisors.
  • Give limited written instructions for immediate steps after death (funeral wishes, pets, immediate bills) stored with the will or in a separate instruction letter.
  • Encourage them to read basic executor checklists—our Executor Playbook: Preparing Documents and Duties is a practical starting point.

Example script to ask a potential executor (brief)

“I’m putting together my estate plan and would like to ask you to serve as my executor. The role involves handling paperwork, working with an attorney and CPA, and communicating with family. I’d like you to think it over—if you’re willing, I’ll provide a checklist and an alternate if you can’t serve later.”

Frequently overlooked legal items

  • Required bonds: Some states require executors to post a bond to protect the estate; you can waive this in the will in many jurisdictions but check state law.
  • Successor trustee vs. executor: If you have a trust, the trustee manages trust assets and can avoid probate; the executor still handles probate for assets not owned by the trust.
  • Renunciation and removal: Executors can decline (renounce) and courts can remove executors for misconduct. Include alternates to prevent administrative gaps.

Quick resources and authoritative guidance

Final recommendations

  1. Prioritize integrity and organization over familial proximity in complex estates.
  2. Use a hybrid approach — trusted family member with a professional successor — for most estates with any complexity.
  3. Discuss the role, confirm acceptance, and document practical instructions today.

Professional disclaimer: This article provides general information and examples based on professional experience. It is not legal advice. For state-specific rules and to draft or change a will, consult a qualified estate planning attorney.