Why involve children in family philanthropy

Involving children in family philanthropy helps them learn how money can be used to help others, builds empathy, and creates a multi-generational giving habit. In my practice as a CPA and CFP®, I’ve seen families who include kids in giving decisions report stronger family conversations about values and money. The goal is less about the dollar amount and more about practice—letting children ask questions, research organizations, and see the impact of supportive choices.

Quick historical context

Philanthropy once centered on individual donors; today many families organize giving around shared values and legacy planning. That shift makes family philanthropy a practical way to pass on both assets and decision-making authority, while turning charitable acts into teachable family rituals.

A step‑by‑step playbook (practical, repeatable)

  1. Create a family giving mission
  • Gather everyone for a short meeting and ask: which causes matter to us? Capture one or two mission lines (e.g., support local literacy and environmental education). Keep the language simple so kids can repeat it.
  1. Set a budget and model trade‑offs
  • Decide what portion of household giving is family‑directed vs. individual. You can use a fixed dollar amount, a percentage of monthly discretionary income, or a small allowance earmarked for charity. Teach children the math: if we give $X per month, what tradeoffs are we making?
  1. Choose a decision process
  • Rotate responsibility (“Charity of the Month”), vote on finalists, or assign research roles. A predictable process helps children feel ownership.
  1. Pick giving vehicles that fit your goals
  • Direct donations, volunteering, and donor‑advised funds (DAFs) are common options. DAFs let families contribute in one year (often for tax reasons) and recommend grants later—this can be useful for involving kids in long‑term grant decisions. For operational advice on DAFs, see FinHelp’s guides: “Donor-Advised Fund Best Practices for Family Giving” and “Donor-Advised Funds: A Practical Guide.” (Best Practices for Family Giving, A Practical Guide).
  1. Research and vet charities together
  • Teach a simple checklist: mission fit, program efficiency, evidence of results, and financial transparency. Use reputable vetting sites like Charity Navigator and Guidestar to review finances and outcomes.
  1. Track impact and celebrate wins
  • Keep a giving journal, save photos from volunteer days, or review annual reports together. Celebrate what the family learned, not just the size of the gift.

Age‑appropriate activities and learning outcomes

  • Ages 4–7: Read stories about helping others; use play to role‑model giving time and items. Outcome: basic empathy and recognition of need.
  • Ages 8–12: Research charities together, compare two options, and present a short summary. Outcome: research and critical thinking skills.
  • Ages 13–18: Lead family presentations, prepare a budget proposal for grants, or join a volunteer board. Outcome: leadership, civic engagement, and public speaking.

Practical tools and templates (use at home)

  • Family Giving Mission template: one line of purpose, two priority causes, one rule for choosing donations.
  • Family Meeting Agenda (30 minutes): 1) Check-in (5 min), 2) Present cause (10 min), 3) Vote/decide (10 min), 4) Assign next month’s lead and tasks (5 min).
  • Charity vetting checklist: mission fit, program metrics, expense ratios, donor reviews, and recent audited financials.

Vehicles and tax basics (what families should know)

  • Direct donations: Gifts to qualified public charities are generally tax‑deductible if you itemize. Keep receipts and confirm the charity’s tax‑exempt status on the IRS site (IRS, Charitable Contributions). See IRS Publication 526 for deduction rules and substantiation requirements (contemporaneous written acknowledgment required for gifts of $250 or more) — https://www.irs.gov/charities-non-profits/charitable-contributions (IRS Publication 526).

  • Donor‑Advised Funds (DAFs): Contribute to a DAF to get an immediate tax deduction; the family can recommend grants later. DAFs are useful for multi‑year teaching moments because contributions are irrevocable and grants are recommended to charities. For implementation and family governance tips, review FinHelp’s DAF guides linked above.

  • Noncash gifts and reporting: For significant noncash gifts, special reporting (like IRS Form 8283 for donated property over $500) may apply — see IRS guidance. Always keep valuation records and receipts.

Note: tax law changes periodically. Use IRS resources and consult a tax professional for guidance specific to your situation.

Governance and succession: create simple rules

Families with small kids should favor simple, flexible governance rules that can evolve. Sample rules:

  • Age thresholds for voting (e.g., children 8+ get one vote).
  • Role rotation: each child gets a turn to pick and present a charity.
  • Succession planning for DAFs: name successor advisors or create a written statement of intent to guide future generations.

In my advisory work, a short written family philanthropy charter (1–2 pages) reduces disputes and sets expectations when kids become adults.

Real family examples (anonymized and typical outcomes)

  • The Johnsons: Created a family mission around education. Their 10‑year‑old proposed supporting a local tutoring nonprofit; the family visited and volunteers taught reading skills. Outcome: kids saw tangible results and sustained interest.

  • The Smiths: Ran a “Charity of the Month” program. Each child researched a charity, presented it, and the family voted. Outcome: broad exposure to causes and improved kids’ research skills.

  • The Lees: Allocated a modest monthly donor amount for causes chosen by their children. Even small, consistent giving built a rhythm and gratitude practice.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them

  • Treating philanthropy only as money: Involve time, skills, and attention—these often create larger learning opportunities for kids.
  • Overcomplicating rules: Keep processes simple and age‑appropriate so kids stay engaged.
  • Neglecting tax and record‑keeping basics: Keep receipts and confirmations; know the documentation needed for tax purposes (IRS, Publication 526).

FAQs (brief answers)

  • Why include children in giving decisions?
    Including children builds empathy, financial literacy, and a sense of agency. It also makes philanthropy a lived family value rather than an abstract concept.

  • What if my child disagrees with the family mission?
    Encourage respectful debate and use rotating choices or a proportional approach (e.g., 70% family-directed, 30% child-directed) to balance learning and values.

  • Does giving small amounts matter?
    Yes. Small, consistent giving teaches habits and can be amplified by volunteer time and advocacy.

Resources and credible references

Professional tips — from practice to habit

  • Start small and build rituals: a 20‑minute monthly meeting is better than an annual lecture.
  • Let kids lead research; guide rather than decide.
  • Pair financial lessons with service: volunteer visits reinforce why the charity matters.
  • Document decisions: a short annual report to the family creates accountability and a record for future generations.

Closing notes and disclaimer

Family philanthropy is a flexible tool for teaching values, civic participation, and financial literacy. This article is educational and reflects common practices and tax rules as of 2025; it is not personalized tax or legal advice. For specific tax, legal, or financial planning guidance, consult a qualified professional such as a CPA, tax attorney, or CFP®.