Estate Planning for Unmarried Partners

Why estate planning matters for unmarried partners

Unmarried partners do not automatically receive the same legal protections as married spouses. When one partner dies or becomes incapacitated, state intestacy laws, property titles, and beneficiary designations—not the couple’s intentions—often determine who inherits assets or who can make medical or financial decisions. That can leave a long-term partner without a home, access to bank accounts, or the ability to act as a health-care decision-maker.

Consumer Financial Protection Bureau guidance makes this clear: estate planning documents are the primary way to make and protect your wishes when you’re not married (see: https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/estate-planning/). Federal tax rules and filing obligations can also apply, but estate distribution and decision-making rights are mostly governed by state law and private documents (IRS: Estate Tax overview, https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/estate-tax).

In my practice working with couples for over 15 years, the most common outcomes I see are either costly court contests or unnecessary delays due to missing documents. A modest upfront investment in clear documents often prevents months of stress and legal fees for the surviving partner.

Core components of an estate plan for unmarried partners

Below are the primary tools you should consider and how each protects a partner.

• Will: A will specifies who receives assets that don’t pass by title or beneficiary designation. A will also names an executor and, if relevant, a guardian for minor children. Without a will, state intestacy laws usually prioritize blood relatives over partners.

• Beneficiary designations: Retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and some financial accounts pay directly to the named beneficiary. These designations override instructions in a will—so keep them updated.

• Property titling: How you hold title to real estate and bank accounts matters. Joint tenancy with right of survivorship passes directly to the surviving joint owner; tenancy in common does not. Deeds and account forms should match your estate plan goals.

• Trusts: Revocable living trusts can avoid probate, provide detailed distribution instructions, and allow for continuity of asset management if you are incapacitated. Trusts are especially useful for mixed-family situations or complex assets—see our guide to trusts for more detail: Using a trust can reduce probate friction (internal: Trust https://finhelp.io/glossary/trust-2/).

• Powers of Attorney (POA): A durable financial power of attorney lets your partner manage money if you become incapacitated. A medical or durable power of attorney for health care authorizes them to make medical decisions. Use clear, state-compliant forms and keep notarization/witness requirements in mind (internal: Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare https://finhelp.io/glossary/durable-power-of-attorney-for-healthcare/; Power of Attorney overview https://finhelp.io/glossary/power-of-attorney/).

• Advance directives and POLST: An advance directive (living will) records your medical treatment preferences. A POLST or similar form can direct emergency care, depending on your state.

• Letter of intent and digital access: A dated, signed letter describing practical wishes and listing account logins can help executors and partners, while not replacing legal documents.

Practical step-by-step plan

1. Inventory assets and accounts. Include real property, bank and brokerage accounts, retirement plans, life insurance, digital accounts, and membership assets (e.g., Airbnb, timeshares).
2. Check beneficiary designations and retitle accounts where needed. Retirement plans and life insurance require beneficiary forms; change of beneficiary will control who receives those proceeds.
3. Decide how to hold real estate. If you want survivorship rights, consider joint tenancy with right of survivorship or add your partner as co-owner—but consult a lawyer; co-ownership has tax and creditor implications.
4. Draft a will that names your partner as beneficiary and names an executor you both trust.
5. Consider a revocable living trust if you want probate avoidance or finer control over distributions.
6. Sign a durable financial POA and a medical POA/healthcare proxy naming your partner.
7. Create an advance directive detailing end-of-life preferences and store documents where they are accessible.
8. Review and update all documents after major life events (moves, births, purchases, inheritance, or changes in relationship).

Titling and beneficiary nuances to watch

• Account beneficiary overrides a will: If your IRA lists a child as beneficiary, that designation governs even if your will says otherwise.
• Joint ownership isn’t always safe: Adding a partner to title may trigger gift tax, subject assets to the partner’s creditors, and may not reflect your estate goals if the relationship ends.
• Tenancy in common vs. joint tenancy: Tenancy in common gives each owner a distinct share that passes by will or intestacy; joint tenancy typically passes automatically to the surviving owner.

Common scenarios and recommended approaches

• Small estate with shared home: If the goal is to keep the surviving partner in the home, jointly owned title with right of survivorship or a will leaving the home to the partner both work; a trust can provide additional certainty and avoid probate.

• Mixed-family or children from prior relationships: Use trusts and targeted bequests to protect the surviving partner while preserving inheritance for children or other family members.

• Incapacity before death: Durable POAs and named health-care proxies are essential so your partner can manage bills and medical decisions without court guardianship.

Cost and who you should work with

• Attorney: For most unmarried partners I advise working with an estate planning attorney who knows the state rules for property, intestacy, and required formalities. Typical fees vary by state and complexity—flat fees for a basic package (will, POAs, advance directive) are common; trusts cost more.

• Financial planner/tax advisor: Consult about beneficiary designations, tax consequences for inherited retirement accounts, and whether a trust affects estate tax.

• Notary and witnesses: Many documents must be notarized or witnessed to be valid; some states require specific language.

Practical checklist (printable)

• Inventory and values of assets
• Beneficiary forms updated on life insurance and retirement plans
• Will naming partner and backup executor
• Durable financial POA naming partner
• Medical POA / healthcare proxy and advance directive naming partner
• Property title reviewed and changed if necessary
• Trust (if needed) drafted and funded
• Updated passwords and letter of intent
• Copies stored with attorney and trusted person

Pitfalls to avoid

• Relying solely on verbal agreements. Verbal promises generally carry no legal weight after death or incapacity.
• Forgetting beneficiary updates. Life changes (divorce, new children, marriage) often require beneficiary form revisions.
• Assuming joint ownership is the same as being a spouse under the law. Creditors, taxes, and probate consequences can be different.

Questions people often ask

• What happens if I die without a will? State intestacy laws will govern distribution; often a partner receives little or nothing unless they are a legal spouse or jointly titled owner.

• Can I name my partner as executor? Yes—most states allow a non-spouse to serve as executor, but check state rules about out-of-state executors or court approvals.

• Is a trust necessary? Not for everyone. Trusts help avoid probate and can give more control, but they add cost and ongoing administration.

Special situations

• Non-citizen partners: Immigration implications can be significant; consult an immigration and estate attorney.
• Minor children: If you have children together or from prior relationships, a will naming guardians and trusts for minors is critical.
• Community property states: Rules about property acquired during a relationship may differ—seek local legal advice.

Suggested language snippets (work with attorney to adapt)

• Will bequest: “I give, devise, and bequeath my interest in [property description] to my partner [Name], to be theirs absolutely.”
• POA designation: “I appoint [Name] as my attorney-in-fact to act in my name and place in financial matters during my incapacity.”

Do not copy these verbatim—state formalities and precise clauses matter.

Where to learn more and authoritative sources

• Consumer Financial Protection Bureau: estate planning basics and checklists (https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/estate-planning/).
• IRS: estate tax and filing rules (https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/estate-tax).

Internal resources from FinHelp:

• Trust (overview and types): https://finhelp.io/glossary/trust-2/
• Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare: https://finhelp.io/glossary/durable-power-of-attorney-for-healthcare/
• Power of Attorney (general): https://finhelp.io/glossary/power-of-attorney/

Final recommendations

Start with a basic will, a durable financial POA, and a healthcare proxy naming your partner—then update beneficiary designations and titling to match. For complex estates, blended-family concerns, or cross-state issues, prioritize meeting an estate attorney. Planning now saves emotional and financial cost later.

Professional disclaimer: This article is educational and does not constitute legal or tax advice. For personalized planning, consult a licensed estate planning attorney and a tax professional.