Key Points
- An 80-year-old father is shocked by his 50-year-old son’s request to receive his inheritance early.
- The son is selling his business but claims to be “cash poor,” seeking an advance.
- The parents would need to liquidate savings and investments to honor the request.
- The father is uncertain whether to involve other children or feel offended.
- A separate correspondent discusses marital discord and challenges with their son’s addiction.
Dear Abby: I’m Hurt by What My Son Asked Us to Do with His Inheritance
By Abigail Van Buren
In a poignant letter published on September 5, 2025, an 80-year-old retired man from Texas shares his surprise and inner conflict after his 50-year-old son unexpectedly requested his share of the inheritance ahead of time. The son is in the process of selling his company, valued between $7 million and $8 million, but claims to be “cash poor,” which complicates his financial situation and the leverage of the sale.
The father, while financially stable and in good health along with his wife, expresses deep uncertainty about whether to comply with the request. Granting the advance would require emptying their savings and cashing out investments, which, although manageable, raises concerns about prudence and fairness to the other children.
He worries about the emotional repercussions within the family and whether he should involve his other children in this decision. Seeking guidance, he asks Dear Abby if feeling hurt by such a request is justified and requests advice on how to handle the situation appropriately.
Dear Abby’s Advice
Abigail Van Buren recommends the man consult his lawyer, CPA, and financial advisor before making any decisions. She warns that involving other children prematurely may ignite conflicts akin to “World War III,” suggesting a cautious and professional approach first.
The Hidden Family Struggles: A Cry for Love and Peace
Included in the publication is another deeply personal letter from a man in Michigan facing marital turmoil. His wife, described as controlling and emotionally dismissive, prioritizes their son and grandchildren over him. The son, who struggles with drug addiction and alcoholism, now lives with them along with his two young children.
He reveals his loneliness, lack of affection, and ongoing sacrifice over 25 years of marriage, despite his wife’s refusal to attend counseling. This added layer of family complexity highlights how financial and inheritance matters intersect with emotional pain and unresolved family issues.
Conclusion
The letters underscore the emotional weight behind inheritance requests within families, especially when complicated by financial hardship, addiction, and strained spousal relationships. Expert counsel is vital to navigate such sensitive decisions, balancing fairness, legal protections, and emotional wellbeing.
The family dynamics reveal that inheritance decisions are not merely financial but deeply personal, affecting love, loyalty, and peace at home.
For those facing similar dilemmas, seeking professional advice and open communication within safe boundaries can help prevent conflicts and protect family harmony.
Image Referance: https://www.silive.com/advice/2025/09/dear-abby-im-hurt-by-what-my-son-asked-us-to-do-with-his-inheritance.html
